I was doing some thinking.. I wanted to make a blog post but I always get this feeling like it has to be a certain length. It’s like here I go again.. like I’m giving myself some rules on my own damn website about how long MY posts should be. I guess that’s why I liked Twitter so much because I didn’t have to worry about how long a tweet was. Anyway, Speedo was starting his shit again with me tonight. And I’m not trying to get involved with this drama he tries to start with me and yeah this guy is my fucking landlord. I’m renting a goddamn porch from this guy! And all he fucking says to me is that I don’t have to live here.. that he hasn’t raised the rent on me.. and made it a point that I was using too much water to wash my cup because he pays the water. Like holy fuck!! I haven’t even showered in over 2 months because of these 2 old guys here. Like Speedo makes it so damn hard on me and I think he uses hard drugs big time. That’s probably where my hard-earned money goes to! Fuck!! I do hate it here and I do hate how I have no privacy. He comes in here when ever he feels like it and thank WHATEVER that I have cameras. I do have him on camera in here without notice going through my things.
This isn’t America!!
Anyway, I’ve really been thinking a lot about if God is really real or not. I mean.. this shit right here is fucking rough. Like I’m trying so damn hard to make it and to do things right but… I already know none of that is going to matter now or even in the end anyway.
I did end up FINALLY getting myself a job at a vape shop. I walk to work an hour every day I’m scheduled to work AND I walk an hour back here to Speedo’s to be miserable. Yeah sucks big time and right now I really can’t sleep because I don’t trust this guy anymore. Like I’m really starting to not trust anything anymore.. especially women. And I’m not fucking gay either so it’s like I’m being forced to be miserable. This is why I’m questioning if God is real or not.
Idk but I need to get some sleep because I have to walk to work in the morning. Hopefully I’ll have the motivation to continue to work on my website more. Idk but I’m not happy anymore. I really just want to say fuck it because.. what’s the point on even trying when life is this damn shitty?