Jared Я. Lawson

The blog

It’s been a bit

Yeah it’s been a bit since I’ve made a blog post or even done any work to my website here. I’ve kinda been a bit busy with some work — a floor actually — and getting rent paid and holy fucking shit.. probation too.

That one right there really stresses me the FUCK out because all I can think about is being violated. I’m trying real hard this time not to fuck up and well idk.. I’ll probably end up back in jail for something stupid.

But I’m trying. And I know just trying ain’t gonna be good enough.

So, here’s what I’ve been thinking about after this job I just did.. I’m really considering going back to college to finishing up my bachelor’s in music, which really is my passion. And it’s not like I want to go to college to learn music. I need it to kinda push me a bit.. ya know?

On the other hand, I do enjoy technology and Cyber Security.

I guess I have myself a decision to make here and I really think I’ve made up my mind for sure already. Like because look.. I know I’m a good writer and I’ve had this burning desire to just write a song. And throughout school I’ve always been interested in music. And it really hasn’t stopped there. I do have some Udemy courses to help me out with a bit with signing, general writing and song writing. Now, I’m not seeking to learn how to do all of this like I’m a baby or something. I just love to keep learning and I’m always looking for ways to keep pushing myself.

Anyway, I guess I’m going to do a bit more thinking about this.. well do some meditating.

I mean.. c’mon!

My life is a mess, my girlfriend of 6 years like really left me this time, I got myself into trouble again, I don’t even have like 2 pennies to even rub together.. I’m ways broke as fuck, nothing to my name, no kids, I’m not even eating well anymore, I live on a fucking porch for fucks sake. yeah I’m so fucking done with the life I’ve lived!

There are definitely going to be some changes being made to my life.

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